Poem: Fear

By Conrad Pugh
Illustrated by Casper

People see me with my chin up,
but can’t see the fight my soul’s in.
Think I’m in control
but my thoughts are daily stolen.

See smiles, joy and laughter
but can’t tell that there’s disaster.
Constantly enslaved
and well
depression is my master.

With will I try to fight this,
but yet still I feel the urge.
A constant loop inside my head
of all the bad I’ve heard.

You have no idea
of all the demons that I face.
Voices always screaming
saying this is not my place.

I’d tell you if I could,
but truth is I don’t think I can.
Until you’ve fought this shit yourself
you’d never understand.

One day I’ve got the wheel
but it’s snatched back just as quick.
From happiness and optimism
to “you’re just a piece of shit”

So before you make your judgement
and you think I just don’t care,
truth is I’m try’na fight this shit
and overcome my fears.

About The Artist


“I’ve been drawing since as long as I can remember.
I make zines, comics, stickers, prints…anything that requires paper and ink. I’m also starting up ‘doomwear’ as a place to sell the things I sew, and talk more about queer expression.

Art has always been an emotional outlet for me, and I find that’s where my best pieces come from. The things you’ll see from me usually talk about mental health, anxiety, a shit load of introspection, queerness, and generally figuring out how and why people tick. I mean what’s more fun than tackling an impossible task, trying to comprehend your own brain?
The closest I get is communicating what little I find out, and making it nice to look at and fun to read.”

You can contact Casper on Instagram or casper.j.gordon@gmail.com

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