Poem: I Left

Illustrated by: Oh_Persefoni

I left because I could no longer say no

To my head, my heart, my itty bitty soul
It felt like every part of me was torn to shreds
My self confidence to my weight and even my bed

It was a build up of everything
A feeling of lost identity and joy
What even made me happy?
Who was I without this boy?

He was my light, my muse, my nightmare and the cause of so much pain and abuse
It was like a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions
Of being wanted and shunted
Remembered and then forgotten
Waking and then falling asleep again

Some will ask why I didn’t leave sooner
Why I waited and waited and waited some more
It’s a feeling of it’s all in your head
You are stronger than this
Like he said, you are family
But, friends, but sometimes you can fuck
But wait, no, it’s about me, because my life has been hard

You owe me
Life owes me

And before I knew it another week had passed and I was still there

Yet it was a family friend
Two in fact
Who happened to reach out
And with that I realised I had made choices that day
That didn’t fit who I was

I couldn’t understand in the light of day
I had become insecure, possessive and controlling
Yet somehow I left that house with only a nights worth of clothes
Even knowing in my heart of hearts that this was goodbye
That I would never go back

It still eats me inside
The fear of running into him when I am out
All the unanswered questions for that I cannot help

But it still remains
I left
and still stand here today

Shaken but standing

Still alone but trying to start again

To build trust in a world that shattered it

time and time again.

About The Artist

“I was born and raised in Venezuela.

After studying Psychology I decided I didn’t want to settle down anywhere and followed a semi-nomadic lifestyle.

While spending a summer season in Iceland with not many people around or much to distract me, I started to paint…
I was going through some dark times, and painting sad girls was my way out.

Now my paintings feature a bit more than sad girls, but there’s always a part of my inner world in my paintings.”

You can see more of Oh_Persefoni’s amazing work on Instagram

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s